Board Of Education

Most people think of School Board when they see or hear about the board-of-education. I'm here to tell you that the board-of-education is far from a School Board! Usually a board-of-education was made from a piece of 1 inch by 4 inch piece of lumber somewhere between two and three feet long. A handle was usually carved into one end of this board and some had elaborate carvings on the business end of the board. I met the board-of-education on my first day of school at recess. There was a merry-go-round and I liked to ride that merry-go-round. My first grade teacher felt this was not in keeping with the school tradition of joining in and that resulted in my tiny rear meeting with the board-of-education.

I met the board again when I showed her the veins in my neck to the great delight of my classmates.
My sixth grade was filled with delight and despair. We were made to practice our letters on ruled paper. I just never was very good at this so decided to lay my ruled paper over the top of the letter page and traced the letters perfectly! Hello board-of-education!
I was doing real good in the seventh grade and trying to stay away from the board until Leo, one of my classmates who liked gum created a situation that I just could not pass up. Leo liked gum, especially chic-lets, the kind of gum that came with a white sugar coating. I found some fin-a-mint, a laxative, gum that looked just like the chic-let gum. I put that laxative gum into a regular chic-let gum box and took it too school. Back in class, Leo began to fidget and squirm. He asked the teacher to allow him to go to the restroom, but as it was just after recess she refused. Leo squirmed a little longer - too long as it turned out! The teacher ran after Leo and I suppose learned of his problem first hand. I was roughly yanked up and the board-of-education was applied to my backside!
Leo came back to class white-faced and weak. Leo never chewed gum after that!
The eighth grade I just knew was going to be my year until I chanced upon a live wood rat in my after school travels. Vernon, a classmate, had a great fear of rats. Those were the days of zippered notebooks and early one school morning I got to the classroom first with that rat. With some work, I got the rat into Vernon's zippered notebook and placed the notebook back in Vernon's desk.
Mrs. Vick was our teacher and she must have had a great fear of rats also. When Mrs. Vick instructed the class to get out their notebooks, I watched with anticipation as Vernon got his and began unzip it. The rat struggled to jump out and Vernon slung the notebook, with the rat, away - they landed near Mrs. Vick's desk! Mrs. Vick's scream, along with Vernon's, just plain disrupted the classroom. I was laughing pretty hard when I noticed that Mrs. Vick was staring at me with what appeared to be malice from on top of her desk.
I was escorted by Mrs. Vick to the principal's office. He was overjoyed to see me as it gave him a perfect excuse to use his "board-of-education" on my backside. I felt the punishment was unjustified since it was Vernon who had slung the rat toward Mrs. Vick. From a seated position to the top of her desk in one single bound!
The 9th grade was super. We were introduced to chemistry and I just loved chemistry! Sodium was amazing. We used real ink and ink pens on our homework in those days, not ball-point pens. The ink came in a glass bottle with a small ink well built into it. I wondered what would happen if one put some sodium in the ink well and then threw the ink bottle. With ink splattered all over the walls. The Chemistry teacher did not think it was so exciting and "helped" me down to the principal's office for a liberal application of the board-of-education.
My 10th grade was going to be better until the band concert. There was a band concert scheduled in the school auditorium that was eagerly awaited by the student body. I had learned that when a firecracker fuse was inserted into a lighted cigarette it took approximately 15 minutes for the fuse to ignite. The assembly was gathered and the concert started. During a particularly rousing song the firecracker ignited! There were band members everywhere - they overturned chairs and leaped from the stage in great numbers. When things settled down a bit the principal escorted me to the stage and with great vigor applied the board-of-education to my back-side! It was not my fault that I was exposed to the procedure for making hydrogen-sulfide gas in chemistry class. I put together a small hydrogen-sulfide gas production apparatus and placed it with loving care in a locker near the school lunch room. It began to produce the gas which smelled pretty bad - so bad in fact that the lunch room wing had to be evacuated and just before lunch to boot.
Needless to say it was not very long before the notice came for me to report to the principal's office and the board-of-education was applied with loving vigor.
I did learn from that board. I learned to pad my pants, grit my teeth and bear it.